


Snap Me Away

by Gabriel_Loki



Category: Supernatural, Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-28
Updated: 2012-08-27
Packaged: 2017-11-13 01:32:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/497940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gabriel_Loki/pseuds/Gabriel_Loki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An Accident on Set has one guest star in a serious predicament and having to live with Misha as he recovers and tries to regain a lost past only to find something much more interesting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

\--Richard--

Richard kept missing the mark for going in the door. That or he kept forgetting to closing the door.  
“Fuck! I forgot to close the door!” He sighed before going back out the door for about the fifth time now. The boys rolled their eyes and then there was the call of action. Richard started to run in there but right as he crossed the thresh hold his foot slipped somehow and he yelped and tried to catch himself but he couldn’t, his back landed first and then his head ended up slamming hard against the ground and he felt pain explode through his head and he felt his eyes tear up, heard people trying to talk to him….but he slipped into unconsciousness…the pain all he felt…

\--Misha—

It felt like it happened in slow motion. Richard had gone back out then had come in in that half run and was halfway through his line ‘Hello!’ when his foot slipped and his eyes widened and he tried to catch himself on something, anything…and then….then first his back collided with the ground and then his head slammed into it with a sickening crunch and there was a moment of silence before they saw the blood starting to pool on the ground and soaking Richard’s hair. Misha wasn’t aware of when he’d moved but he was the first one at Richard’s side, he was the one trying to get him to stay awake, the poor man in pain and his hazel eyes glazed over and cloudy…  
Someone had already called 911 and they were on the scene in minutes and Richard was rushed to the hospital and the crew was already cleaning up the blood on the set.

They were allowed to leave the set, and Cliff took them to the hospital where they waited for news on Richard. Jensen and Jared both had coffee, Misha only had water. Coffee would only make him even jitterier… He waited with Jared and Jensen for three hours… A doctor then come out in his white getup and the blue scrubs under it.

“You three his friends?” He asked, even though it was pretty clear, yeah they are in Misha’s opinion.

“Yeah,” It was Jared who spoke. The doctor sighed and looked them over for a long moment again.

“His skull is cracked along the area of his skull that collided with the ground…The trauma caused memory loss. He’s already awake, which is remarkable in itself, it’s only been an hour since he came out of surgery…You guys can visit him…but one at a time, we don’t want to overwhelm him, not to mention he’s on morphine, he’s going to be a bit loopy.” He warned them and they nodded and he led them to Richard’s room. Jensen went in first and came out within ten minutes, Jared then taking his turn and coming out after fifteen minutes…They both looked worried and sad. Misha went inside tentatively and he saw Richard hooked up to IVs and brainwave monitors and he had bandages wrapped around his head like it could be a sweatband, and they’d arranged his hair over the back. Richard looked over to Misha and he looked tired, even with all the morphine in his system. 

“Hey, nice coat,” Richard said in a mild voice, eyes going over Misha for a long moment before resting on his face and Misha smiled at Richard and he sat in the chair next to the bed Misha had forgotten that he was still in costume.

“Ah..it’s not mine it’s the set’s, we came right over from there,” Misha said in a soft voice, not wanting to hurt Richard’s ears and it seemed like he noticed that and Richard laughed for some reason, but then he seemed to regret it as he grimaced and brought his hand to his head.

“Whoa…easy there Richard…” Misha said and Richard swallowed and brought his hand away after a minute. He then looked back to Misha.  
Misha held out a hand, “I’m Misha Collins,” He said with a warm smile and Richard smiled and shook his hand.

“It’s nice to meet you Misha,” Richard said with a happy tone to his voice. He fidgeted for a moment and then took a breath and looked Misha straight in the eyes.

“What happened? The other two wouldn’t tell me. They just kept saying it was an accident and to not worry about it…but…My head hurts like a bitch and my back hurts…but not as bad…and I don’t have a clue as to who I am! I just know you guys call me by Richard! I’m not a moron and I don’t like being treated like a kid,” Richard said firmly and Misha saw the determination in Richard’s eyes, and he heard it in the other man’s voice…

“Please, Misha…tell me what happened…” And those words, the plea behind them… Misha felt himself crumbling as he scooted closer and put a hand on Richard’s shoulder and squeezed it lightly.

“Alright, Richard, I’ll tell you…,” He said and he actually saw Richard looked surprised; he must have tried this on Jared and not gotten any success.

“We’re actors, me you, Jared and Jensen and we were all in a scene and you were making an entrance…must have been the fifth time? They love having people do their lines and so on several times to get good shots and different angles…Well…Your shoe for some reason slipped out from under you as you came through the door at a half run…You…fell first on your back then…then your head slammed into the ground…” Misha winced as he heard the sickening crunch all over again and he looked away.

“Hey…” Richard’s voice was gentle and Misha felt warm fingers turn his head back and then tears Misha hadn’t realized he’d shed were being wiped away by Richard.

“I…I’m sorry it’s just…It wasn’t a pretty sight…or sound…I…” He saw a flash of Richard lying on the ground, bleeding from his head and looking too still, “…you looked dead…” Misha whispered and again Richard wiped away tears gently.

“I’m alive, Misha…and...thank you…for being honest with me,” Richard said softly and Misha nodded as he looked down and Misha was silent for a bit as he watched Richard try and reach for a glass of water and give a kind of pathetic whimper when he couldn’t quite reach it, the water just out of his reach. Misha couldn’t help a small laugh as he went and got the water and gave it to Richard, who beamed at him like he were the best person in the world.

“Do you want me to stick around? I don’t have to work tomorrow, though the other two do,” Misha said after a moment. He suddenly felt protective over Richard and he didn’t want to leave him alone in the hospital and he knew Jared and Jensen had a lot more to work on.

“I..” Richard looked speechless for a moment, “Yeah, thanks that would be great,” Richard whispered and Misha squeezed his shoulder and left the room, telling the two Js that he’d stay there.

“Okay Misha…keep a good eye on him,” Jared said seriously and Misha nodded and went back in and he returned to Richard’s side, the injured man happily drinking his water. Misha sat down in the chair again and Richard looked to him again and smiled. That was the smile that lit up the man’s whole face and even his eyes. Misha had only seen it’s pure form once before and that had been earlier today…  
Misha picked up the remote after a companionable silence and he turned on the tv and started browsing through channels and sighing at all the crap before turning it off.

“You said we’re actors right?” Richard said after a few minutes, “What character do I play?”

“Ah well, you play the archangel Gabriel,” He says after a moment, “We were actually filming the episode your character is kinda forced to reveal who he really is,” He says and Richard nods slightly before leaning back.

“I’m sorry Misha…I shouldn’t be keeping you here, you’ve gotta have a wife you need to go back to or something….” Richard muttered and Misha fidgeted.

“Ah…uh no I don’t actually…And you’re not keeping me here, don’t worry,” Misha said, forcing a smile and Richard considers it but he doesn’t say anything…letting it go before eventually giving in to sleep… Misha watched Richard for a while until he got up and stretched and then went to the couch by the front of the room and he stretched out on it and he let the trenchcoat be his blanket as he fell asleep watching Richard…

\---Richard---  
At first it was all black…a blank dream where all he had to do was wait for waking up…but then after a while it shifted into something else…  
A warehouse…a damp, cold warehouse and he was standing in a circle of fire… he was talking… And Jared and Jensen were there…

“So which one are you, grumpy sneezy or douche?” Jared was asking and Richard looked at him for a long moment for dramatic effect before answering.

“Gabriel, okay? They call me Gabriel…” Richard answered and he saw the brief shock on Jared’s face.

“Gabriel, the archangel?” Jared asked almost stiffly. Richard nodded.

“Guilty,” He was looking at Jared…and then suddenly he seemed to transition to another part, yet he was still in the same place…

“I skipped out of Heaven, had a face transplant. Carved out my own little corner of the world…til you two screwed it all up.” He said, pointing at the both of him, his arms half extended. Jensen looked about ready to say something but Richard was suddenly being woken up, and the first thing he felt was pain, so much pain in his head and he couldn’t help the low whimper that escaped him even as he opened his eyes and saw Misha standing over him, looking concerned…

Richard reached over and grabbed the water and he drank some more of it and opened his mouth to ask the question but Misha seemed to know what he wanted to say.

“You were uh…whimpering and starting to scream in your sleep, you were holding onto your head like it might explode…” Misha said, in a rumpled suit now. Richard noticed the trenchcoat on the couch and saw how it had been hastily thrown…  
“I woke you up…” It mildly surprised him that his voice was lighter than his voice from his dream…must be something to do with acting.

“Eh…it’s 9 Am, I got to sleep in for a day, even if it was on a couch,” Misha smiled, “Don’t worry about it,” He said and Richard wasn’t sure what it was about Misha but he nodded.

“Heaven …Hell, I don’t care who wins! I just want it to be over!” His own voice and he grimaced in pain at the stabbing feeling that seemed to be trying to cleave his head apart.

“Hey, you okay Richard?” Misha was asking through his haze of pain and Richard shook his head no, and that’s when Misha left the room and came back with a doctor and Misha was told to wait outside.

“Mr. Speight, we’re told you’re feeling pain, where exactly?” The doctor asked him and he briefly wondered who the hell would have that kind of pain before he felt her fingers by the bandage…

“It…it’s like a horrible…headache? I don’t…I don’t know…” He muttered as the doctor put her cool hand to his forehead and it felt…it felt nice to have there… with all those bandages making his head warmer than it should be…and whatnot.

“Were you thinking about anything before it happened?” The doctor asked as she injected a liquid into the iv and within a minute the pain started to go away and he felt lightheaded.

“I wasn’t…thinking about anything but…I heard myself…talking…and that’s when the pain started…” He mumbled as he looked to the doctor who was writing down notes.

“Misha tells me you were having a very uneasy sleep apparently? He said you were in pain….What were your dreams about?” The doctor asked as Richard still felt lightheaded and it seemed easier to talk now.

“About the character I play…Gabriel. Misha told me I’m a actor so I think I was just…I don’t know…I was thinking about it when I fell asleep and…I think I dreamt about the scene…but it was weird…didn’t see the crews or anything…almost like it was all real…Like I was an angel or something…I don’t know…” Richard shifted a bit and looked to the doctor and she was smiling slightly.

“Well, I know the pain is annoying to you, but it’s a good sign, your brain is trying to fix itself and it seems like it’s doing a good job of it but it still has a lot to do so you won’t be in pain every time you start to remember something.” She said calmly, “But this is a good sign Richard.” She said and then she looked him over for a minute.

“Okay Richard, I’m gonna ask you some questions now and I want you to answer them as best you can, alright?” She said and Richard nodded…

\--Misha—  
The doctor came out twenty minutes later where Misha was sitting and waiting. She smiled at him.  
“His higher brain functions are excellent, everything is fine. That pain he’s experiencing? It has to do with his memory. It’ll go away once the damaged tissue has completely healed. Though…I suggest you call his family and let them know what’s going on.” She said and Misha nodded. He planned on doing that later.

“Does he have anywhere to stay while he’s here?” She asked and Misha sighed.

“Just a trailer, though I could take him to my apartment here in Vancouver, I have a guestroom he could use,” Misha said helpfully and the doctor smiles.

“He’s lucky to have a friend like you. If he agrees to it, I can let him out tomorrow with some pain meds to help him with his back and head.” Misha nodded at that and he went into the room with the doctor and Richard was putting a mirror down.

“Hey doc, will the scarring keep my hair from growing?” Richard asked a hand at the back of his head. The question was so random that Misha found himself laughing and Richard looked at him, frowning.

“What?” Richard asked innocently.

“Dude…you’re in pain and the only thing you’re really worried about is your hair,” He said with a chuckle. Richard just shrugged.

“What? I like my hair,” He said as he shrugged and then pawed at the flips of his hair in a way that had Misha laughing again and Richard was grinning. Misha saw the doctor smiling and Misha went over to Richard. 

“No the scarring will not keep your hair from growing, Richard,” She said with a soft laugh as she watched the two men.

“Hey, the doctor said I could to you to my place tomorrow…you know if you want. You just have a trailer on set. You have clothes there that I can get and so on,” Misha said as he watched Richard who definitely looked surprised at this and he looked at Misha quietly. Richard seemed speechless for a long moment before he nodded.

“..You sure I won’t be imposing?” Richard asked and Misha smiled.

“Hey, I’m not your friend for nothing, Richard. I have a guestroom you could use,” Misha said with a smile and he saw Richard nod again and Misha found himself hugging Richard gingerly, as to not bug his back or head. Richard smiled and patted Misha’s back and Misha pulled away.

“If it’s okay with you I’m going to go back to the set and return the clothes to them and then get your stuff to my place and come back, that okay with you?” He asked with a small smile and Richard nodded.

“Alright, here’s my number in case you need anything,” He said as he wrote down his cell number and gave it to Richard, who nodded.

\--Richard—  
A week went by and he was in Misha’s home, he was feeling better, or well, his back was better, it had mostly been sore the first few days until Misha suggested Richard just take a warm bath and soak. That had really helped, not to mention the icy hot patches.

Unfortunately Misha had a lot of work the past few days so usually it was just Richard at the place, roaming around and looking it over. He had a feeling he’d never been there before now, so he looked over the whole place and found a photo album and he took it out and saw it was marked, ‘Supernatural Conventions’. Richard shrugged and went to the table and he started going through the photos…He saw quite a few and he saw this one convention marked earlier that year where he was clearly talking with Misha and they’d been caught laughing at something. He looked all this over quietly, he felt warmth in his chest when he saw how happy they are in the photos, having casual, friendly conversations. Then he turned the page and saw it was just pictures of him weaving his way through the crowds of people, talking to them and looking happy and at ease. He realized they were fans of the show…and then he thought about what Misha had said about the fact that they’d been filming… 

Richard had taken the bandage off after the third day, to better wash his hair, and he was very very gentle with his poor scalp, rubbing his head very gently where they’d had to perform the surgery and make sure they could make it so his skull could heal properly… Richard hardly ever really had any sort of pain from his head and he very carefully combed that area and was glad to see his injury was well hidden by it…  
Still he felt bad when he looked at all these fan photos and he closed his eyes and looked at the pictures again… He then went through his belongings and he saw promotional pictures, very fresh, printed pictures that had him in them and he looked at them quietly and he felt a pang of sadness. He hadn’t been able to finish filming… The longer he looked over the pictures the more he felt something stir in his chest and he wasn’t sure what the feeling was, but he just put the pictures aside and looked through the script in the bag. Misha had told him later they’d been on part two, the sitcom set, and it had been the last day too… So Richard went to that and started reading it quietly… He then got to the end of part two…and just for curiosity’s sake went to part three he started to read it when the door to the apartment slammed shut and Richard started and put down the script. 

Misha came to the doorway and glared at Richard and Richard felt like he’d done something horribly wrong and he suddenly felt like a little kid and the usually soft blue eyes were now hard and steely as Misha looked at him.

“You’re SUEING the show?!” Misha yelled and Richard flinched and scooted back on the bed and Misha…Misha looked pissed as he advanced on Richard.

“After everything we’ve been doing…that I have been doing for you, you’re sueing us?!” Misha yelled and Richard shook his head.

“Misha, I-!” He started to say but Misha cut him off.

“Get out!” Misha yelled and Richard looked stunned.

“Wh..what?” He said in confusion as Misha glared at him.

“I. Said. GET. OUT. I don’t appreciate getting stabbed in the back!” Misha yelled and Richard swallowed.

“I…I didn’t do anything, Misha! I haven’t talked to anyone, I swear! Why would I sue you guys?” Jared had apparently came in with Misha and now he was in the room and pulling Misha back and pinning him against the wall.

“MISHA! Calm down! Can’t you see he has no clue what you’re talking about?! Look at him! You’re scaring the shit out of him!” Jared growled, “And he’s not sueing us, his agent is! Or was, I just talked to him on the phone since we have the same agent. He needs to talk to Richard before he can actually pull off that crap!” Jared growled and Richard saw Misha looked like he’d been slapped and Misha fled the room the moment Jared let go of him and Jared closed the door and locked it and he sat down on the bed and looked to Richard.

“Sorry I wasn’t here to save you from him earlier he beat me up the stairs…He’s a fast bugger…” Jared looked at him and God Richard felt so horrible as he held his pain pills in his hand and that hand was shaking as Richard fought to keep from breaking down.

“C’mere Richard,” He said softly and Jared went over to Richard and hugged him gingerly and Richard hugged him back and said in a muffled voice, “I didn’t know…” Jared patted his back.

“I know you didn’t,” He said calmly and they were like this for a bit until Richard calmed down.

“Here, I’ll call the agent and you talk to him, alright?” Richard nodded and Jared gave him his phone as it rang… Jared told him what the agent’s name was and then quietly left.

Richard wasn’t sure how long he was on the phone for but he found himself yelling at the agent. Seriously? The guy was trying to sue Supernatural and the CW for an accident?

“IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, A COMPLETE FLUKE! IF ANYTHING’S AT FAULT IT’S MY FOOT FOR SLIPPING YOU MORON!” He was yelling because the man was still trying to insist on suing them.

“IF YOU DON’T DROP IT THEN I’LL BE SUEING YOUR ASS FOR MAKING DECISIONS I DIDN’T APPROVE!” He yelled still and that got the agent to comply and drop the suit. He hung up after and he opened the door to the room and noticed vaguely that Jensen was there and everyone was looking at him but he moved past them, his head throbbing in pain; filled a glass and downed two pills and started to go back to the room and he stopped and looked to Misha.

“So are you throwing me out or not?” He asked sharply and Misha shook his head vigorously and that was that, Richard went into the room and slammed the door shut, locking it and going onto the bed and curling up on it.

\--Misha—  
The moment it seemed everything was quiet, Jared had turned and punched Misha right in the face. In Misha’s opinion he should have kept going, but Jared stopped there and glared at Misha.

“You seriously have no fucking clue how scared he was of you!” Jared hissed and Misha cringed, “I think he thought you were going to beat the crap out of him at one point. All for something he didn’t do!” Jared growled and Misha looked away.

“If you had been thinking, Misha, you would have known he couldn’t possibly have been behind it because he doesn’t even know his own cell number, how would he know our agent’s?” 

“I…I wasn’t thinking…” He muttered as he was ashamed and he sank into a chair, “Damnit I didn’t want to scare him like that…”  
Jared relaxed a bit, “Then tell him that when he comes out again, alright?” Jared said as Jensen got up and pulled at Jared’s arm.

“Come on, we should go tell them it’s been dropped and that it was a misunderstanding,” Jensen muttered and Jared reluctantly left Misha to feel like an horrible ass as he went and tried to remember what Richard’s favorite food was, and could only think of his favorite desert, so he looked in the fridge for Chocolate Mousse and thankfully found some. He then saw the album open on the table on the pictures of Richard wandering through the crowd that Misha had taken…

\--Richard—  
His dreams reflected his hurt, his fear and his feeling of being…misunderstood, not to mention feeling…left out. And what did that result in? He got stabbed through the chest with a stake. He started to freak out when it all changed and something stirred in him again and it was like whatever it was, is waking up…

“You know he was over-reacting, right?” said a voice that was a different tenor of his own and Richard spun around to see…Gabriel? And he was trapped in holy fire.

Richard frowned at him, the character he played…was talking to him in his dreams…

“Okay so not only do I not have my memory…I’m a fucking psychopath too? Wonderful,” Richard sighed and Gabriel rolled his eyes.

“Hey, you’re not crazy, think about it, Richard. You’re an actor. Without YOU I can’t come to life. Sure the dialogue is there on the script, but you can’t just say it all! You have to drag up the personality and the mannerisms, everything from yourself. You personified me, get it?” Gabriel said, shifting in the holy fire.

“Oh I get it, I’m a fucking nutcase talking to myself. Wonderful….or…” He paused and looked around, “Or it’s my own way of telling me I need to get back on that set.” Richard muttered, “Was thinking about it before Misha…” He trailed off and Gabriel started to come toward him and stopped at the fire and let out a frustrated sound. 

“Like I said, he over-reacted. The minute you go out there he’s going to be apologizing like crazy. He knows he scared the crap out of you and hurt you with what he said, but over all he’s a good guy. You’ll see. Oh and by the way, your favorite desert is Chocolate mousse,” Gabriel smirked and he shifted in the fire. Richard realized the stirring he’d felt…

“Wait…were you like…waking up or something? Cause I…felt something weird earlier…” He said and Gabriel smiled and then clapped.

“Bravo! You figured it out. Yeah that was me. Like I said I’m a part of you….And well when you had your accident I kinda got trapped…I can’t get out…You have to let me out and you would be able to…ah remember a bit of what you know.”

And that’s when Richard woke up. He looked over at the clock and saw it was 9PM. He got up and went out of the room and saw Misha at the table. Misha looked up and started to say something but Richard stopped him.

“I know you’re sorry. Kinda heard Jared chewing you out as I fell asleep….” He rubbed his eyes, “I think there’s some trippy shit in those painkillers.” He said as Misha tilted his head a bit even as he got up and got something from the freezer.

“Oh? What makes you say that?” Misha said as he started to turn around.

“Because I think my…..holy crap is that chocolate mousse?” He said, eyes wide as saucers, he was sure, as he caught sight of the dessert and Misha was grinning at looking amused at Richard’s reaction.

“Yup, it’s your favorite,” Misha said, smiling as Richard eagerly dug into the treat.

“So what were you saying?” Misha asked after a few minutes.

“Oh, I think my subconscious or something is taunting me,” He said as he swallowed a mouthful of the chocolate mousse before getting another spoonful and happily eating it he was close to fucking purring, he knew it. That and he knew he was not a cat.

“What? Why would you think that?” He asked as Richard set the spoon down and sighed.

“Cause I saw Gabriel in my dream-“ He started to say and Misha got wide eyed.

“Wait, you remember him?” Misha asked, clearly shocked.

“Not really…I just know it’s him…I don’t know…I was talking to him and I really think my head is screwing with me...Please don’t send me to a therapist…” He muttered as he looked at the table. Anywhere but at Misha.

“I’m not gonna send you anywhere, you’re fine.” He said with a smile and Richard looked up at him and smiled.

“Um…I found the script for the episode…What are they doing about the part we didn’t finish?” He asked and he saw Misha look at him sharply.

“Uh…they were talking about not airing it…” Misha started to say and Richard got up, shaking his head.

“No! Call them! I’ll finish the scene! I don’t want to have gotten injured for nothing!” He didn’t realize his voice had slipped into the same tone that he apparently used for Gabriel, though he saw Misha smiling.

“Think you could act out the rest of the scene with that conviction?” He said as he put away the chocolate mousse and pulled out a cell phone.

“Yes!” Richard said firmly and Misha grinned.

“Go get the script,” He said as someone answered the phone.

“Hey, Eric? Richard wants to finish the scene,” He was started saying as Richard put on his shoes and then he grabbed the script and came out into the room.

“Yeah well…I told him you guys were thinking about not airing it and he got mad. Look Eric-“ Misha was saying but Richard took the phone from him.

“-his memory is-“ The man on the other end is saying.

“Hello?” Richard said and the other man seemed startled.

“Richard! Uh hi I-“ Eric stammered but Richard rolled his eyes.

“Look, Eric, I want to finish what I started, okay? I don’t want to have the episode unfinished and I don’t want to mess with the plot or whatever, got it? Because really? I need something to do, I don’t want to be stuck around here hoping my memory returns, and knowing I never finished the job I was paid to do.” Richard said firmly and with determination. He looked to Misha and saw the other man’s shock turning into a grin.

“Well I-…okay, you’ve looked over the script?” Eric said with some reluctance and Richard told him yes he had.

“Alright, I’m gonna have the boys come over then. I’ll see you on set.” And he hung up and Richard tossed the phone to Misha who caught it, watching him.

“Well, come on, Misha! We don’t have all day!” Richard said, laughing as Misha rolled his eyes and then they left the apartment, Misha leading the way.

\--Forty five minutes Later—  
He was struggling with his lines and he…he couldn’t get it right, the mannerisms, he had the voice just not…not the emotions. The guys were trying to help and the producers were being patient but he needed a break. They let him have it and Richard went outside the door of the set and he let out a breath and closed his eyes for a minute. He tried to dig deep for ANYTHING to use for Gabriel…What he found was Gabriel trapped in holy fire again…

“You can’t do it, can you? You need me,” That voice seemed tired and Richard frowned. He couldn’t help but wonder why Gabriel was tired as he mentally took a step forward and he saw Gabriel eyeing him. Yeah, Richard needed help…Especially since he couldn’t pull off Gabriel without everything that made him…and well here he was. He stepped over the fire and Gabriel blinked at him as he pulled Gabriel into a hug and he could feel all the emotions rush over him even as he opened his eyes and the lines were clear in his mind and he kept a tight hold on Gabriel, who didn’t seem to mind, who knew Richard needed this to actually pull it off…

“I’m ready,” He said to one of the producers who nodded and they called action and the door flung open and he went through the door correctly.

“Hello!” He felt the right emotions for this. The amusement, the way Gabriel was intending to overdo the line as he closed the door. He didn’t stumble on the lines as he delivered them. He’d delved entirely into Gabriel’s persona right now. And he could feel Gabriel’s approval as Richard grabbed Jensen and pinned him to the wall.

“Don’t you ever…EVER presume to know what I am,” He said in a deadly tone full of anger and a hidden force just barely coming to the fore. Again he went through the proper lines, proper everything.

“300 channels and nothing’s on,” And then he raised his hand up and snapped his fingers and waited for cry of cut. Instead what he got were cheers.

“You nailed it Richard!” Eric said happily from his spot and he actually came over and clapped a hand to his shoulder.

“Unfortunately those two messed some of it up, but you played off that still and just, Wow! Think you could do it a few more times for camera angles?” He asked and Richard mentally clung to Gabriel even closer, the angel or whatever laughing softly as he pulled him into a warm hug, a hand on the back of Richard’s head, saying that he isn’t going anywhere soon.

“Yeah, I can do it,” Richard said, smiling and there were a few minutes and Richard had gone back to the table, they’d said he came in fine for the door part. He also knew they didn’t want him hurting his head again and while the talked Misha came up to him and grinned. Misha then had an excellent idea and Jared and Jensen came in on it and when action was called they started dancing, arm in arm and they sang a part of Adam Lambert’s for your Entertainment.

“Oh!  
Do you know what you got into  
Can you handle what I'm 'bout to do  
'Cause it's about to get rough for you  
I'm here for your entertainment  
Oh!  
I bet you thought that I was soft and sweet  
You thought an angel swept you off your feet  
But I'm about to turn up the heat  
I'm here for your entertainment!”

They all sang this and they were all so ridiculous as they danced arm in arm and they had the whole crew laughing. Gabriel, even as Richard clung to him, was also amused and his hand shifted on the back of Richard’s head still. They stopped after the last line and Richard found himself laughing hard, the first time he’d laughed since the accident, a true laugh and that got Misha and everyone beaming. That is until Gabriel shifted his hand again and pain flared in Richard’s skull and it cut off his laugh and he had his head to his hand, groaning in pain even as-

He kept watching as Jensen shoved the food into his mouth for the scene to work. Richard and Jared, even Jensen couldn’t stop breaking up between lines, it was great; the atmosphere on the set, the feeling of belonging…of home…

“Hey! Richard!” He blinked and shook his head as the pain dimmed and faded altogether. He looked up to see he was crowded by the entire crew.

“You okay?” Eric was asking and Richard nodded.

“Yeah…doctor said it would hurt for a little bit when I…remember things. Said brain was healing up the damage and that it would hurt for a little while…Wasn’t as painful this time.” He said softly and everyone blinked at him.

“Wait, last time?” Misha asked sharply. Richard shrugged.

“What? It was in the hospital, after I pestered you for info…I ended up dreaming about Gabriel…Or well the scene with his reveal where he says, ‘Gabriel, okay? They call me Gabriel.’ Quite a lot of pain when I woke up…then I remembered a line, ‘Heaven, hell, I don’t care who wins, I just want it to be over!’” He just shrugs but the guys look hopeful.

“Come on guys, we can celebrate his now lessening in pain returning memories later, and we’ll ask what it was later too,” Eric said with a sly smile and everyone got up and resumed their positions, Richard going back to where he was supposed to stand and flick his hand at Misha and he is supposed to…vanish.

Gabriel laughed softly as he shifted his hold on Richard, “Enjoy that? I thought you’d like to know just how friendly they can be.” Gabriel said with warmth to his voice. Richard was glad for that.

Action was called and Richard did his thing.

\--Misha—  
Misha had crawled off the set when the camera moved back to Richard and the boys and now he watched in awe as Richard did everything perfectly for the third time in a row now. Everyone could tell he was completely in character and it had happened out of seemingly nowhere. Misha saw a gleam in Richard’s eyes when he looked closely enough. A gleam that hadn’t been there the last few days, yet definitely one Richard had before the accident. Two more times and then they were done and Richard, the moment he heard cut went and sat in one of the chairs, Richard letting out a long breath and Misha got a waterbottle and went up to the stage and tossed the bottle to Richard who flinched, but managed to catch it.

“So, Richard, we’ve all been wondering, what did you remember?” Eric asked, sitting down next to Richard who smiled at him.

“Tall Tales, the scene where Sam and Dean are supposed to be questioning me as the Janitor…I remember Jensen shoving the food into his mouth and how ridiculous he looked and how all of us kept breaking up and laughing.” Eric chuckled at that.

“I remember that,” Eric said with a chuckle. Richard wasn’t done though and he looked down at the table.

“It felt safe…like home…Still does feel like that,” Richard muttered and Eric looked stunned and he looked to Misha who shrugged.

“People are always going on about the family-like environment, Eric, those two included,” He said, nodding toward Jensen and Jared who grinned. Eric looked between the guys and he sighed.

“I think Gabriel’s gonna become more involved than I thought but first…Richard, do you want to keep acting?” Richard’s eyes widened and his answer was a breathless yes.

“Hmm…I already know one great episode to have you in, though you’ll be eating a lot of candy.” And Richard seemed okay with that.

Misha took Richard out to his car and Richard got in and let out a heavy breath and he looked exhausted, Misha couldn’t help wondering how the hell Richard had kept it all up…

“Your head bugging you?” He asked and Richard shook his head.

“Jus’ hungry and tired…” Richard muttered, his southern accent slipping into his voice. He looked over to Richard again seeing how exhausted the other man is.

“I’ll take us home and order some pizzas that sound good to you?” He asked and when he saw the tired smile he knew he’d made the right choice.

They got to the apartment and they sat around, Richard seeming to be in this tired daze at the moment, his eyes half closed.  
“Richard?” Misha asked gently and Richard blinked and looked at him.

“Hm? Yeah?” He asked as he stifled a yawn.

“You did great out there, besides a rough start…how did you pull that off anyway, it’s like a switch went off in you or something…” Misha said as he cracked his knuckles.

“You guys wanted Gabriel…so I dug up Gabriel…I just wasn’t trying too hard to reach for him…for Gabriel…” There was still that accent creeping into his voice as he seemed to doze.

“What do you mean by that?” Misha asked with a frown and Richard shrugged, though he seemed to fidget a bit and that’s when Misha knew Richard was hiding something as the other man said…

“Nothing…nevermind. Forget I said anything.” Richard muttered even as the pizza arrived. Richard devoured half or it, as did Misha, both men having been starving.

“Well, Richard, I’ve got to get up early tomorrow…I’ll talk to you later.” He said, letting the subject drop even as he saw Richard nod and he went into his room and collapsed onto the bed. He missed his friend. He missed Richard…He wanted his friend back to normal and not randomly talking about Gabriel…


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An Accident on Set has Richard in a serious predicament and having to live with Misha as he recovers and tries to regain a lost past only to find something much more interesting.

\--Misha—  
It had been a few weeks and there was no sign of Richard remembering anything else even as the damage to his skull completely healed up, leaving a thin scar which was obscured by Richard’s hair that had regrown in the afflicted area like the doctor had said it would. 

Though he noticed one day that Richard was eyeing his credit cards and license and he seemed to be mouthing something quietly. When Misha strained his hearing to catch it he heard, “Gabriel can’t you help me with this? ….I am trying! I…just…Come on, help me out here!”

Misha watched as suddenly Richard grabbed a paper and started writing things down before breathing a sigh of relief. Misha was worried for Richard’s mental health now more than ever. That wasn’t the first time he’d seen Richard do that either  
.   
Shortly after they’d been on set for My Bloody Valentine where Gabriel had shown up and was arguing with the boys as he chowed down on Candy, Misha couldn’t help but notice that there was not trace of Richard there, and that’s when he started wondering if Richard had a multiple personality disorder or something, if he was Schizophrenic. 

Misha had seen the script for Hammer of the Gods after that. He’d known there was at least another few Episodes, like Dead Men don’t Wear Plaid and Dark Side of the Moon and then Finally Hammer of the gods that Richard would be in. He’d read Hammer of the Gods and he was worried for Richard, who’d seemed to have gotten way too fond of his fictional character persona. 

When He’d gone home later Richard seemed to be his mellow non-candy eating self and he stared out the window, muttering something quietly and that’s when Misha decided…

“You need to see a therapist, or psychologist. Someone. This isn’t healthy Richard, to be obsessed with your character to the point that you’re talking to them outloud.” He said firmly and he saw Richard stiffen.

“You said I wouldn’t have to go to one when I mentioned him the first time!” Richard naturally was outraged and yet Misha was putting his foot down.

“You’re going to a therapist whether you like it or not. You were never this attached to Gabriel before, I don’t see why you’re attached to him now.” 

Richard gave him a hard time for the next two days, refusing to go to a therapist. Jensen and Jared had actually ended up arriving at Misha’s place at one point to hear them yelling.

“I’m not crazy, Misha! “ Richard was yelling, red in the face, “I don’t see why you insist I go to a therapist!” Richard yelled.

“I know you’re talking to him damn it! He’s not real! Gabriel was never real in the first place!” Misha yelled back and Richard grew defiant and Misha could swear he saw a change happening right before his eyes…

“He is real, Misha, whether you like it or not.” He said in a deadly tone as Jensen and Jared opened the door to see Misha scowling at Richard, who seriously looked like if he had powers, he would have smitten Misha then and there. Jared had instantly gone to Richard and nudged him into his room to calm down, and Jensen had done the same to him…

It still didn’t stop Misha from tricking Richard into the car and driving him down to the therapist he’d made an appointment for.

Security had to be called in due to the massive fit Richard had when he realized what Misha had done. Misha was quietly glad Richard really wasn’t Gabriel…cause again if looks could kill…Misha would have been killed a thousand times over even as Misha left and called Jared, asking him to pick Richard up at the end of the hour at the office, the younger man reluctantly agreeing.

\--Richard—

He sat there, fuming on the damned couch of the office he was in, trying to ignore the therapist who was watching him, waiting for him to speak, but she gave up after five minutes.

“Richard, why do you think you’re here?” She asked and Richard looked up to her, to the brunette woman and to her brown eyes and to how she was sitting in her recliner, watching him.

“Because Misha is an ass who doesn’t mind his own business,” He said bitterly after a moment. The therapist watched him for a long moment and then looked at some files she had.

“Your medical records say you had an accident on set about two months ago. That right?” She asked, and Richard nodded, “That you ended up having Amnesia because of it?” Another nod from Richard.

“Have you remembered anything?” She asked curiously and Richard nodded again.

“A few things about the show and people I work with…some credit card pins…but that’s it.” Richard muttered before looking down at the table now. He hated this already. He just wanted to get out of there and maybe find a new place away from Misha, a place where he could talk to Gabriel all he wanted and wouldn’t be interrupted.

“What’s wrong, Richard, what’s on your mind?” The Therapist asked gently.  
“I don’t want to be here, that’s what, I’m only here because Misha dropped me off and told me I had to come…” He muttered, bitterness in his voice. He didn’t want to be here…  
“Ah yes, you were the one causing all that commotion then? I heard you say something about smiting some of them?” She asked, raising her eyebrow, “What was that about?”

“I…ah…my character I play...he’s an archangel…I kinda slipped into that for a moment, wasn’t thinking. I just wanted to get way…” Richard muttered, embarrassed. 

Even now Richard could see his friend pacing in the holy fire, the archangel pissed at Misha as well. Richard himself was outside the circle, head down. Not to mention he hadn’t talked to the archangel for a few days and to Richard it seemed to longer he went without contact, to more Gabriel seemed to….get miserable and fade actually start to fade. 

Richard looked up to the archangel and noticed he was looking at Richard, a desperate plea in his eyes and face. Gabriel was becoming a just an image without Richard there…

“Tell me about Gabriel,” She said after a moment and Richard closed his eyes as he talked, told her how the archangel was bitter and lonely and he just wanted to try and stay out of things, only to be drawn toward the two people the archangel knew would be his doom. Richard saw Gabriel watching him still... He said that the archangel tried to cover it all up with humor. That the only person the archangel only really gave a crap about was…

“Who? Who is it?” The therapist asked and Richard realized he trailed off and he looks to her and smiled faintly.

“You’re gonna think I’m crazy, if you don’t already…but me. He only really cares about me…Whenever I’m not feeling up to doing anything or whatnot, he’s there trying to help me…Yet he’s kinda…trapped.” He said this all sheepishly, wondering if the lady even watched the show, though she looked very interested.

“Trapped? What do you mean?” She asked. Richard half closed his eyes.

“By holy fire…and I feel bad whenever I’m trying not to talk to him cause then he starts to kinda just start to fade away and then I panic and cross over to him and I have to touch him in some way for him to come back…I…feel safe around him and I…feel whole around him when I’m in that circle with him…There was a time I think he actually made it so I remembered something. He said he’d wanted me to know the people on set a bit better…” He saw Gabriel looking at him still, the angel looking down at his hands and his hands and lower body were still fading.

“Richard…!” There’s an urgency to Gabriel’s voice.

“Are you in contact with him now, in his cage with him?” She asked and Richard shook his head.

“No…but…he’s fading even now…I have to help him…” He muttered and she looked at him curiously.

“This holy fire…it kills angels if they cross it, correct?” She asked. Yeah she must have seen the show.

“Yeah. He’s trapped in there…” Richard said as he found himself quickly crossing over the flames and getting pulled into a bone crushing hug by the angel as he stopped fading, as he became whole again and the angel let out a sigh of relief.

“Why do you do that? Why do you leave?” The angel asked and Richard didn’t respond he just buried his head into the angel’s neck and the angel seemed to get that Richard didn’t want to do it, but around Misha, he had to do it…

“I think I know why you see him, why you both are so dependent on each other,” She says at last, now having Richard’s full attention.

“He’s everything you can’t remember, and he’s trapped, he can’t really help you unless you go into that fire. That fire represents your amnesia, it’s blocking you from properly accessing the memories, but you can get the emotions, you can get comfort knowing that your memories are still there. It’s just a matter of putting out that fire and letting Gabriel be able to help you access it all…That make sense?”

“Wait…so basically you’re saying…He’s…me but in a way that I can understand him, and he’s trying to help me get my memories when the time’s right for them? And that if I manage to put out that fire it’ll all come back to me?” He asked now not so reserved and he felt Gabriel’s relief that the lady wasn’t trying to tell Richard that he was just a figment of his imagination. Gabriel wouldn’t have been too happy…

“Yeah, basically, and when you’re trying to be who you’re not, that’s when you’re outside the circle and then you start to lose that hold and the memories threaten to die . So until you find a way to free Gabriel or well, yourself from the confines I suggest keeping a close hold on what you have.”

Richard nodded and got up. He noticed it was almost the end of the hour…damn he had really started talk in the last half hour…

“Um…I’m gonna go…Thanks really. I gotta kill Misha now. I TOLD him I wasn’t crazy…” He muttered and the woman laughed softly.

“No Richard, you’re not crazy. You’re fine, you’re just trying to get better in your own way,” She said smiling and Richard smiled back and went for the door then paused.

“Please don’t tell anyone about this. I don’t want them actually thinking I am crazy just cause…you know...” He muttered and she nodded.

“Everything said here is confidential, don’t worry Richard,” She said and Richard nodded.

“Well…hopefully I won’t be seeing you again, no offense,” He says with a light smile and the woman smiled and nodded at that.  
Richard went out to see Jared waiting in the lobby and Richard blinked in surprise but then grinned and went over to the Sasquatch and hugged him tightly; feeling like a shrimp still but Jared laughed and messed up his hair fondly.

“Where’s Misha? I owe him a kick to the balls. He thought I am crazy. She said I’m coping with all this in my own way,” He said with a scowl.

“Wait a sec…Misha FORCED you to come here? How?” Jared asked sharply as he led Richard to his truck and Richard just let out a huff.

“He tricked me into thinking we were going to the movies. Can’t believe I fell for that. Security in there had needed to restrain me to keep me from trying to kill him,” He muttered and he looked out the window.

“He fucking BETRAYED my trust. I’m sick of it! Sick of the looks he gives me when he thinks I’m not looking… and when he hangs out by my room to make sure I’m not talking to-“ He stopped himself and looked down. Did he really want to tell Jared what he had been seeing for the past two months?

“Talking to who, Richard?“ Jared asks with a frown and Richard’s quiet for a long moment.

“Gabriel,” He whispers, and Jared’s eyes widen and he pulls off the road and to the side.

“Any idea how or why he’s there?” Jared asked, Richard wasn’t sure if it was excitement in his eyes or worry…Maybe both.

“The Therapist thinks he’s kinda…my manifestation of my memories and that the longer I stay away from him..don’t acknowledge his presence the less chance there is of me getting my memory back so…She said to stay close to him…seeing as he’s trapped in holy fire until I can somehow get him out I’m only really…myself if I am in that ring with him…I feel like who I’m supposed to be when I’m with him.” He says softly and Jared seemed to be thinking for a moment before he reached over and brushed Richard’s bangs out of his eyes and wiped a tear away.

“How long have you been in touch with uh…Gabriel?” He asked and Richard looked up to him.

“Ever since Misha yelled at me with the whole suing stuff…He’s been helping me ever since. He helped me finish up Changing the Channels…He’s the reason I can get in character and…yeah…” He’s quiet now as Jared seems to be piecing the puzzle together.

“Now that I think of it…you did seem more like yourself whenever we had a break that day…and you were astounding with the lines, have been ever since… Still you mentioned Gabriel to Misha?” Jared asked an Richard frowned.

“Yeah I told him I was dreaming about him…and then he’d catch some of my whispered conversations with him…Would you believe it took me three weeks to get Gabriel to tell me what the pin codes were to my credit cards?” He said with a small chuckle and Jared was laughing too.

“sounds like him. He ever uh..get control or whatever?” Jared asked sheepishly and Richard just outright laughed at that.

“Why would he need to? He’s nice to me and I’m nice to him. I’m the only person he’s nice to right now. Not to mention he admitted outright to me that I ah…made him or more or less personified him.” He looked to Jared who smiled at him.

“You know...we all bring our characters to life on screen you know, give them dimension, make them feel real to the viewers, and to us. I’ll tell you something…I was also in the same situation, Richard.” He said as he brought the truck back onto the road. 

“What? You lost your memory too?” Richard couldn’t believe it…Gabriel dragged Richard down with him and wrapped his arms around Richard, quiet and Gabriel was humming deep in his chest. Richard felt warm and safe even as Jared spoke.

“It was in the second season, about a month after you left actually. I was out at a diner and I was coming out with Jensen when we nearly got mugged. The guy slammed the hilt of the gun into my head and while he did that Jensen tackled him and beat the crap out of him. He always was protective of me…But well he has been so much more protective ever since then.  
I woke up with Amnesia as well but I hadn’t uh…cracked my skull but still… Jensen helped me out and right before the third season began shooting I got my memory back. Though I did what you did, I went back to acting, it was the only thing I could do and I didn’t want Jensen having to pay for everything. It was probably about…four months before I got my memory back. There were bits and pieces scattered around before then. “ Jared paused and glanced to Richard, who’d been listening intently the whole time, eyes on him and Jared laughed.

“You know, it’s weird seeing you that focused,” He says before messing up Richard’s head again.

“What triggered your memory coming back?” He asked curiously and Jared frowned.

“Jensen really, a stupid little habit he’d laid off on, afraid I’d freak out. He used to slap my ass as a joke when he was bored or joking around and well he slipped up at one point and I remember I was in complete shock and turned around to punch him when it all just hit me when I saw the way Jensen flinched. I never wanted him scared of me. It just…came back like I’d ended up punched in the face.”

Richard let out a sigh and then looked at his hands, “I get now why you’ve been so hard on Misha though overall he was concerned but...—“

“But you don’t ditch someone at a therapist’s office, I know. I’m taking you to him so you can do what you please,” And with that they were in a comfortable silence as they got to the set. He saw that they were on break as they got to the set Misha was on, talking to Jensen when Richard strode up to Misha, tapped his shoulder, saw Misha turn around and get a ‘Oh shit!’ look on his face before Richard’s fist collided with it before Richard grabbed Misha and then kneed him in the balls.

He heard a commotion of the crew but Jared was yelling at them to back off even as Richard pushed Misha back.

“Don’t you EVER dump me off at a fucking therapist’s office again you fucking asshole! You know I didn’t want to go!” And he started to bring his hand back to punch Misha again before he let out a huff and let his hand drop as Gabriel made some sort of sound of protest. 

He turned back and went off the set as Misha lay curled up on the ground saying something but Richard ignored it as he went past Jared who followed him and took him back to the apartment.

Richard thanked Jared before he went into his room and sat on the bed. He’d gotten it out of his system and for some reason Gabriel was amused but refused to say anything. Instead…

It was their first Supernatural convention together, and Misha was sitting at the table with Richard. Both men were pretty drunk but Misha more so than Richard…

“Hey Richard…Wanna know what my…my first thought was when I saw you…?” Misha asked, flushed and suddenly getting a blush to him.

“That guy needs to get a haircut?” Richard said with a light laugh, getting a long drink of his beer and sighing, looking around at all the fans there having a good time and squealing at them in happiness whenever one of them caught one of the two actor’s eyes.

“No…My first thought was, ‘God he’s hot,’” Misha said with a goofy drunk smile on his face. Richard sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

“Misha…just…be quiet…” Richard mumbled, though he could feel his own face heating up and when he looked Misha over and he watched every move the man made and oh…oh crap he felt excitement building up in him. 

Excitement and want and Richard jerked his head and Misha grinned as they made their way back to Richard’s hotel room and once the door had closed, Misha had pounced and brought Richard to the bed and gotten on top of Richard, 

Misha shamelessly stroking Richard’s erection and Richard shuddered with pleasure as he looked at Misha and grinned even as the other man’s mouth came and captured his and damn Misha was a good kisser even as Richard wrapped Jean clad legs around Misha and brought him closer. He ran his hands through Misha’s hair and shivered when Misha nipped at his neck and started to take off Richard’s shirt when Richard sucked in his breath.

“No Misha. I’m not that drunk,” His words were sharp and Misha pouted but obeyed and instead returned to lavishing just how much love he could get through to Richard, and Richard had replied in kind…That was the night they had fallen for each other…hopelessly fallen…  
Gabriel was laughing softly when Richard finished reliving all that.

“Well…that’s one way to figure out I’m gay…and why Misha was so desperate to send me to that therapist…still hurts though…That he just…did that…” Richard says softly, looking down at his hard on and shaking his head…he was going to have to jerk off in the shower wasn’t he? But right now he’d wait.

“Why’d you wait to tell me?” Richard asked as Gabriel’s arms tightened and a ghost of his breath tickled the back of his neck.

“Because…I didn’t realize how much it was hurting Misha, seeing you like this. Though damn it if he really loved you he’d accept you as you are…That and uh…I didn’t know how you’d react to being gay either…” Gabriel looked to Richard who just shook his head.

“You’re like a mother hen…You can’t keep this stuff from me, Gabriel!” Richard said in exasperation. Gabriel hung his head.

“I know…but there’s always a time for everything and usually when the time feels right is when I show you this stuff…” Gabriel said softly and Richard looked back to him and sighed. He knew Gabriel meant well so he let it drop and Gabriel was glad…

\--Misha—

Misha couldn’t help but be somewhat…pained by the encounter. Not just physically but emotionally. He’d made things worse. Richard hated him now…The man Misha loved and who had loved Misha before the accident…hated him because Misha had been so damn pushy…Misha had wanted his Richard back no matter what…But this…

No-one else knew what had been going on between them. It had been kept a secret…but even now he was sure he’d lost Richard to Jared because of the way Misha had been pushing…no…maybe he’d lost him well before that. He’d noticed the way Richard had become quiet around him… 

It was only a matter of time before Misha’s heart would have shattered. It had shattered with the kneeing to his groin and when Richard had been too furious to punch him again, when the other actor had walked off the set with pure anger on his face, Jared following him.

They gave Misha a chance to regain himself before returning to the scene. Three hours later he was driving home and when he got into the apartment he found Richard sprawled out on his bed, the door to the room wide open as Richard looked down at a photo album… Misha recognized the album and went cold as he strode in there and took it from Richard and snapped it shut.

“Where did you find this?” Misha asked dangerously. There was a reason why he was so protective over this. They were photos from their dates days after the conventions and even some a few days before Richard’s accident.

Richard didn’t look up when he answered…

“Under your bed…with that stuff…” He nodded towards the box of stuff that Misha had hoarded and kept that had been gifts from Richard before. Some of them had been photo shoots of Richard in varying outfits and others had been silly t-shirts they had sent each other. 

When Richard had come over after the accident, Misha had put them in the box along with the pictures of them trying to squeeze the life out of each other with hugs…

“What were you doing in my room?” Misha asked as his heart ached for Richard right now as the older man shifted and looked…hurt? No…more like ashamed.

“I just wanted to see if you had anything that could help me…Because I know you hate the way I am now…” Misha’s heart shattered yet again as he realized what that look had been. Richard had looked disappointed and rejected not to mention hurt. 

He never meant for Richard to feel like Misha hated him. Yet Misha was just speechless as Richard looked away and took out a suitcase and he started packing his clothes and Misha’s heart felt like a dead broken bloody weight now.

“Richard-“ He started to say, but the older man ignored him as he finished packing up his meager belongings.

“You hate me, that much is clear. You hate me! You clearly want me to be someone I’m not anymore and I can see how it’s tearing you apart! I can’t live here anymore, knowing that, and knowing that you-“ He shook his head and pushed past Misha and left. 

Misha ran after him and tried to catch him, but the bastard was fast and he had already hailed a cab and was already getting in and slamming the door shut. Misha called out for Richard and saw the older man look back but then turn away, and saw how Richard’s shoulders slumped and the way his head hung as the cab turned a corner, and Misha saw through the side window..He saw the glistening teartracks on Richard’s face…

Misha found out a few days later that the crew had given Richard his old trailer to bunk in for a while. Everyone noticed how Richard would refuse to talk to Misha outside of the lines he was supposed to deliver, which he still somehow did excellently. Misha though…he saw the hurt and betrayal on Richard’s face for Gabriel’s death scene in Hammer of the God’s…Misha knew that was all too real and it broke his heart again. He wondered just how many times his heart could break before it couldn’t be fixed again…It throbbed painfully after the scene when he saw Mark for once break character and kneel down to Richard.

“Hey, Richard, you okay?” Mark asked as Richard just nodded and sat up, wiping tears away from his eyes.

“Sorry…yeah ‘m fine…just…a really emotional scene,” Richard muttered and Mark nodded. They went through it four more times before it was called.

Everyone said sad goodbyes to Richard, though promising he could be back on in the next season. Misha went back to Richard’s trailer and quietly went inside the unlocked trailer and sat on the recliner in there even as a few minutes later Richard came in and without looking at the recliner, closed and locked the door before the older man collapsed on the couch. He…he looked so heartbroken and worn…

Misha got up silently and made his way over and sat down on the couch and silently wrapped his arms around Richard’s waist and pulled him close. Richard started and looked to Misha, eyes wide as he clearly hadn’t expected anyone there…

He considered Misha for a moment before he turned away and let his head rest against Misha’s chest. An action that surprised Misha bit, as he hadn’t been expecting him to stay still…Yet Misha stayed there and brought one hand up to card through Richard’s soft hair…though it was somewhat gelled cause of the makeup department, but he didn’t care…

“I’m sorry, Richard…” Misha said after a brief silence, “I never meant to hurt you like I did…I never thought I’d end up pushing you away…I was stupid…Yeah I wanted you to have your memories back…But I completely disregarded what was in front of me the whole time…YOU. I was looking too hard. If I had been paying attention…I would have realized just how lonely you were because of what I was doing…I didn’t realize that you were there all along but you were only ever…you on set, when I wasn’t looking for you…Not until it was too late…” Misha swallowed and looked up at the ceiling.

“You know what hurt the most?” Richard whispered in a shuddering voice, “is remembering the first time you…” Richard shuddered, “That you said you thought I was hot…only to find that you didn’t like me the way I am not…And I saw those photos how…how happy we were and I knew I couldn’t stay there when I saw your look of horror and…and how…how sad you got. I didn’t want you living with a…ghost…” Richard muttered and Misha shook his head.

“God, I’m sorry Richard...That…I knew I’d hurt you from what I did earlier that day and just seeing how pissed and hurt you were broke my heart, and then seeing you, looking at all those photos and everything after…it hurt.” Misha muttered as Richard looked up and him quietly. Misha saw the sadness there and…and he had to fix it damn it! He had to fix what he’d done…

So he shifted until Richard was upright and then leaned in and kissed him. Richard’s lips were as soft as Misha remembered, but he also knew that Richard had stiffened…

\--Richard—

He hadn’t expected it to happen. Not today not when he was just so down…for Misha to be there. Yet he liked the warmth of Misha’s arms and he listened as Misha apologized, poured his heart out and apologized some more after Richard’s own words...

What really surprised him was when Misha kissed him and the moment he stiffened with surprise is when the sprinklers turned on inside the warehouse and extinguished the fire and Gabriel let out an audible sigh.

“Finally,” Gabriel whispered before he touched two fingers to the back of Richard’s head and warmth flooded Richard and images and words, thoughts and feelings all rushed into him and then Gabriel had vanished but when Richard felt his own hum in his chest he knew…he knew he was whole again even as the room disappeared and he saw Misha starting to pull away

…Misha… He saw the hurt on Misha’s face when Richard had stiffened but that…no that was unacceptable. 

Richard pulled him back and kissed him, lifting up the other actor and his boyfriend a warm kiss was all Misha needed to keep kissing him and when the two were all over each other and Richard was panting for breath Misha was looking at him with wide eyes as Richard grins and kissed him again.

“I missed those kisses Misha.” He said with a grin. Your kisses always were special, and apparently they can restore my memory,” 

He said with a happy chuckle and he saw the warmth and surprise in Misha’s eyes as Richard basically glomped the poor man. Richard whispered words of how much he loved Misha as Misha tried to apologize by Richard would stop him with a kiss.

“It’s okay. I know and I just want to mend your poor heart so we can be back on the same page,” Richard whispered and Misha smiled his eyes teary as Richard ran a finger along Misha’s crotch.

When they were done kissing the life out of each other Richard watches as Misha downs some water and he looks to Richard.

“Is uh…Gabriel still there?” Misha asked awkwardly and Richard just laughed.

“I WAS Gabriel, Misha. It was all me.” he then pauses and smirks at Misha who seems to have understood him.

“I didn’t think you’d end up jealous though, and jerking off in the bathroom,” He says with a smirk as Misha’s eyes widened. Misha smacked his shoulder lightly and Richard chuckled and kissed him again.

Richard kissed Misha again and nuzzled his nose against Misha’s.  
“Though if that ever happens again and if I ever get taken to a therapist again, you’re gonna get more than a punch to the face and kneed in the balls. I had to stop him from doing more even though I wanted to see you hurt for that too.” Richard said with a growl and Misha blinked.

“Oh God…Richard I--…Tell me how I can fix this…”

“You don’t need to, you came back, you tried to fix things…You freed me from my own prison in my head with that kiss. Kinda like some sort of fairytale, huh?” Richard said with a chuckle and he was happy to see Misha smiling, and seeing the light in Misha’s eyes again. 

He only just realized how dull those beautiful blue eyes had been, and Richard stole the words from Misha as he kissed him again and then with a grin led him into the bedroom.


End file.
